Stateside Home-bound Journey

Thrift-Store Parenting and Orphanage #3

I love shopping at thrift stores. To me going thrift-store shopping is like going on a treasure hunt.  Some people avoid thrift stores because they are filled with other people’s old, unwanted stuff organized under one roof like a glorified garbage dump. In Order to find the gems that are hidden there one must put in the time and be patient while sifting through the mountains of other stuff.  People who avoid thrift stores will save themselves the much time and effort it takes to search for treasures but they may  never find that first edition book or discontinued toy among all the clothes from the 1970s.  I think that being a parent is a lot like thrift-store shopping.  Most days are really hard.  There are piles of dirty laundry to clean, loads of dirty dishes to wash and toilets to scrub (all of which I actually enjoy doing if I have the luxury of having a day devoted to cleaning.)  What’s really hard is watching your children struggle or quarrel or fail.  But then there’s the glorious gem that comes when your child does something amazing that really surprises you, or they finally understand a principle you have been trying to instill in them for years.

Our whole experience in Russia was much like this.  Each day was filled with trials, frustration, discomfort, inconveniences and let downs (many of which I was fully prepared for and glad about for the sake of my kids who had not known a life outside of the ease and comforts of small-town Idaho.) And then there were some sweet, amazing moments that could never have been made possible with out all the sadness.   I thought that by taking my kids to a local orphanage and getting them acquainted with some amazing orphan kids that they would really understand the gift that it is to be a part of a family (albeit a crazy one!)

 

It took a lot of persuasion to get the director of Orphanage #3 to allow our family to come do service there which was no surprise.  Before heading to Russia I had worked for months trying to find a service opportunity for our family during our time in Saint Petersburg with no luck.  I don’t know if it was the fact that we were Americans or that they simply didn’t want outsiders in their children’s homes.  After setting up a meeting with the Orphanage director she told us we could help with the English class.  I imagined singing songs and doing fun activities with loads of little sweet orphan children.  When we got there they lead us to a nice room with 5 teen-aged orphans who already spoke really good English.  Could we really do any good for these kids? I had a flashback of when I went to Russia 21 years ago with a youth group bringing gifts to orphanages.  Each orphanage that we visited put on a huge show; singing songs and giving us gifts in return.  It was so strange because all we wanted to do was to serve and do good but it seemed equally exhausting for them to host us.

  

Even though it was not what we expected we were excited for an opportunity to do any service.  We had a lot of fun and the English teacher invited us back for the following week, only the message must not have been communicated to the director because when we arrived no one was ready for us.  Everyone was scrambling when they saw us.  We ended up getting an unofficial tour of the orphanage (given by one of senior orphans) where we were able to meet orphans of all ages and see their living quarters etc.  It was so cool to have this very real, very sweet glimpse into their world. These dear children living at Orphanage #3 lived in rooms with 5 kids per room and 3 rooms per group.  Each group had a common area and a grandma that lovingly watched over them; helping with homework, laundering clothes, making meals and giving encouragement.  The kids seamed much like siblings very comfortable together, they were put into groups of varying ages and many of them shared similar hobbies as siblings would.  

   

 We taught one group how to make bracelets and they gave us some Russian coins.  We had a wonderful time.  We told them we would see them next week and made a plan to make bracelets for each orphan (about 60).  When we bumped an assistant director she looked stern.  She said we shouldn’t have come.  I had a feeling that catching them off guard was going to bring consequences.  Sure enough the director sent me a text the next week telling me that they were unable to accept us regularly.  We had promised the kids to meet them the next week to finish making bracelets together.  I tried calling the director just to ask if we could see the kids one more time but she didn’t respond to my calls.  Why did it have to be so hard to do good?  I don’t know if anti-American sentiment had anything to do with it.  I’m certain the director thought she was doing what was best for the children, but allowing them to choose I’m certain things would have been different. 

We had already begun making bracelets for each of the children and promised to return so we decided to continue to make the gifts and see if we could drop them off sometime before heading home.  It took us several weeks to make and assemble 60 gifts but we finally got them all ready and wrapped.  We decided to drop them off on our last day in the country (which happened to be a Sunday and I was hoping that the staff might be reduced allowing us to actually go inside the orphanage and give them the gifts ourselves).

I decided it would be wise to only bring Wesley and David so as not to be too overwhelming to the children.  I have to pause and say at this point that a certain one of my children had protested every outing we had gone on since day one in Russia.  I prayed that he would agree to going to the orphanage because I knew that if we could get in that it would be a very amazing way to end our trip. 

To my surprise although given the chance to head home with Dad, he offered to go with us!  Before entering the orphanage we huddled together and said a prayer that we would be permitted to go inside and give the kids the gifts ourselves.  As we approached the entrance I recognized the grandma on duty.  She smiled and warmly greeted me.  I told her that we were leaving the country in the morning and asked her if we could give the children some hand-made gifts.  She said yes!  What a sweet thing it was to give our gifts to each child along with a card with our contact information that read: “you always have a friend in America”.   Once inside with the kids we sang and laughed and enjoyed a wonderful time together.  I wished I could have stayed with them forever!  

One Darling girl Liza (age 15) was so excited to have us there.  I loved her so much and wanted to give her something special since our gifts were more for younger kids. I realized that I could give her the earrings out of my ears.  When I gave them to her she squeezed them in her hand and said, this is the best ever! She asked me if I could take her home.  My heart was so full of sadness that I couldn’t just take her with us, how I wish I could have!!

 As we mounted our scooters for the journey home we said another prayer to thank God for His kindness in helping us have that experience with the kids. Then that same child who had not been much excited about anything during out trip had a mighty change of heart, he said: “Mom, do you think we could ever adopt a Russian orphan?” My heart could have exploded with happiness at the sweetness of that moment.  I explained to him that Vladimir Putin had recently made it illegal for Americans to adopt Russian orphans.  

Even though our experience with the orphanage was definitely not what I had dreamed it would be, the joy of that evening spent together with those kids will stay forever in our hearts.

Our family may be quirky and loud, we may have times where we disagree, fight, yell, cry and hurt feelings but we also love and forgive one another and we never give up on each other because we are working for the eternal prize of being together forever.  Having the chance to be with and love those kids made us all realize how precious it is to be a part of a family, one you can hold onto forever no matter what.  Just like finding the treasure in the thrift store after hours of searching, during those final hours of our time in Russia we had found our treasure and it gave purpose and meaning to all of the struggling and heartache.

“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.” D&C 58:3

Rest and Relaxation in Riga!

Have you ever reached into the pocket of some jeans you love but haven't worn forever to find a 20-dollar bill?  Best day ever right?

 It's even sweeter when you really really need the money:). I recently found my own lost treasure, one that I really really needed, only it was much more valuable me than money:).  Towards the end of our Russian stay I got a message on google plus from a dear dear friend whom I hadn't seen or heard from in many years.

Sister Kearns was an answer to prayer for me in the MTC when she joined me and my companion to make a threesome halfway through my stay at there.  Her energy, smile and completely completely real personality helped me to ease up and smile more as I tend to take things a little too seriously.  I loved her! How could I not totally love her! We served in different missions and ended up losing track of each other over the years. Hearing from her was such a treat! Even more exciting was the fact that she was working in Riga, Latvia not far from Petersburg!  She invited me to come visit and offered us to stay in her lovely home.  Even though we were getting short on time there I really wanted to go!



Since we knew we would already be traveling to Moscow we took a 14 hour bus ride from Moscow to Riga (it seems like would be drudgery but actually it was SO much fun my older boys and my sister Chrissy...can I just say that traveling with her is the most fun EVER, she has been all over the world but that doesn't stop her from being perfectly amazed and thrilled by each new place she travels!)


We even met a Latvian Olympian on the bus who had participated in the Salt Lake games which I had attended (small world!)






and when we got to the train station we met some sweet Russian-speaking missionaries (yay!)



Being with Amy was once again an answer to prayer and just what we needed during that time.


 I hope with all of my heart that I can be someone's lucky penny sometime as she was for me and that I can strengthen the feeble knees and lift up the hands that hang down.  Viva La Riga!

     

After much tribulation cometh the blessing

 

 

Have you ever given your child a promise that something good would happen to them if they chose to do something that was hard and then prayed really hard that something good really would happen?  As a child I always imagined that my parents knew everything and made all the right choices.  Now that I am a parent I understand that parents are on their own journey; trying to be the best example for their children while finding the strength to face and overcome their own challenges.

In Saint Petersburg I always looked forward to Tuesdays because Tuesdays were missionary days. We would make the long journey to the church which was a 1.5- mile scooter ride to the metro, then 30+ minute metro ride changing from the red line to the orange line, and another mile on the scooter to finally get to the church building. Since it was such an effort getting there and back we generally spent the whole day there.  I taught the missionaries Russian grammar classes while my kids ran around the gym in the church and got their wiggles out (remember our grumpy neighbor who didn’t want us to make noise while in the apartment?  We did our best but it was basically impossible with 4 wiggly little people sleeping in one room so this time each week was important for them as well). 

   On this particular Tuesday, I had gotten word that there were some brethren from Salt Lake that would be doing some training with the missionaries so we changed the lesson time to accommodate their arrival.  I also asked Chrissy to stay at home with the kids so that we wouldn’t disrupt the training but I thought it would be special to invite the older boys to join me in hopes that they would be able to meet with the leaders from Salt Lake. David was interested so I told him to wear nice Sunday clothes just in case we were able to meet the brethren. 

That day the water source for our whole building had been shut off so we did our best to look presentable without running water. We started off on our scooters through the dirty, wet rainy streets.  I always like to leave very early because you never know what may happen on the way but that day we had gotten a later start than usual.  I had brought David a pair of gloves knitted by a very dear woman which were completely irreplaceable and very special to me.  When I realized that the gloves had fallen out of my pocket we retraced our path all the way back to our apartment building.  We didn’t find the mittens and David became discouraged.  “Mom, we are going to be late, we lost your special gloves and  I went through a mud puddle that put mud all up the side of my pants.  Let’s just go home and forget about it!”

                                                 

 I recognized a great teaching moment!  Life in Russia was anything but convenient and I understood the frustration that David was feeling but I also knew that most experiences that are worth anything take effort.  I told David that the missionaries were counting on us and that when we want to give up that’s the moment when we have to work harder to make things work.  He bravely agreed to keep going despite our setbacks.  I was so proud of him and wanted so much for him to know that his efforts were known by God.  I knew it would be a great day if we could just get to the church building.

When we got to our metro station David was surprised to find a metro token on the ground.  To really appreciate what this means you have to know that we are a family of coin collectors.  We collect coins everywhere we go.  We have been known to reach awkwardly under a dirty bench while people are still sitting on it in order to retrieve a kopek worth far less than a penny.  To find a coin that actually had value was a bonus.  Finding the metro token on the ground that day to me was pure evidence to David that God was aware of his maturing testimony and his desire to do good and to preserver despite the setbacks we had encountered that morning.  I told David to keep the token and never use it so he would always remember that moment.  

After our Russian lesson with the missionaries we decided to wait near the elevator to see if we could greet Elder Randy L Ridd and Jorg Klebengat on their way to the conference where the missioanries eagerly waited for their training.  I didn’t want to be annoying, but I really did want David to be able to shake hands with these amazing men.  When the elevator doors opened, we quietly approached the group.  President Childs introduced me to Elders Klebengat and Ridd along with his beautiful wife. I explained to them that David got dressed up and came on the journey with me to the church in order to meet them. 

 They were more than kind to David lovingly asking him about himself and taking time to care for the one.  Elder Ridd asked David about is mission fund and David reported that he was saving 40% of his earnings toward his mission.  Elder Ridd then reached into his coat and pulled out a card with a dollar coin on it and told him to save it for his mission!  Another coin! 

                                        

 And another testimony that God loves David! Then Sister Ridd gave David a Russian CTR ring of his very own.  I was able to tell Elder Klebengat  how much we enjoyed his talk in conference just a few weeks earlier (it was SUCH and inspiration!) He then invited David to attend the missionary meeting. Fortunately he was dressed appropriately (I had wiped the mud off of his pants and it wans’t even visable) so we were able to go and join the missionaries in the chapel.  At the beginning of the meeting Elder Kebengat called David to the front of the meeting and told the missionaries that David was his special guest!  He asked David questions about what he was doing to prepare for his mission.

                                          

 Here was my 10-year old son standing in front of a room full of missionaries as the special guest of a very special man called of God to do His work and to love His children, every one of them.  Although those men had been given the charge to go to Saint Petersburg to train missionaries, the spirit whispered to them that there was a future missionary that needed to be strengthened that day as well.  A future missionary and his mom, who had made a promise that all would be well if he would just do his best and trust.